Week 12 blog response

Disability Binaries

When we think of disabilities or of someone who is disabled the usual first thought is of what that person cannot do. There are exceptions to this reaction as there are when we speak of other binaries such as sexism, gender, racism but the common normal narrative is to see what someone can’t do.  We maybe lulled into thinking that society has made great strides into the middle ground of the disable/able binary.  We see that now it is illegal to have a work place, or public place that is not accessible to those that need accommodations, we see that many people who are disabled have jobs.  We see that people are trying to raise awareness and help find cures for disabling diseases and conditions.  In the article Stolen Bodies, Reclaimed Bodies the author states that when” The dominant paradigms of disability — the medical, charity, supercrip, and moral models — all turn disability into problems faced by individual people, locate those problems in our bodies, and define those bodies as wrong.” When something is wrong, we see it as something that needs fixing or as something that is broken and no useful.  This broken image supports the disabled side of the binary, that disabled people are less than.  In order to disrupt this binary of disable/able we must first stop thinking of people’s bodies as wrong or broken simply because they can not do everything the so called normal way.  I would dare to say that most abled bodied persons need modifications in the way we do things at some point in our lives, we don’t consider our bodies broken or disabled when we do.  For the most part the modifications I am talking about are minor, such as eye glasses, canes, hearing aids and the like.  None of these things fall in the realm of disabilities or outside ableism. Now consider modifications like wheelchairs, aids to help non verbal people speak, personal aids, are these not also modifications to help a person function more optimally just like eye glasses.  So to disrupt this binary we need to define what makes one modification a disability and one not.

The second part of the prompt was to trouble the norms and see how our understanding of disability changes when we view it from Clare’s (Stolen Bodies, Reclaimed Bodies) perspective of a disabled, transgender, lesbian.  My point of view is that our understanding of disability should not change because of these other binaries. Even though there is intersectionality of the different binaries in Clare’s life, one binary does not cause the other binaries to become less or more of an issue.   Clare will have a more difficult time because she is living out side of more than one binary and will quite possibly face more discrimination than she would if she were just disabled for example.

 

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Gender Binaries

Self in Relation

Gender stories

 

Part 1 Normal Narratives of Gender

In reading the blog posts from the class on gender two really stood out to me. Meyan Piok writes from his experience growing up in Sudan, Raphael Gigante writes about growing up in the Philippines, and I write from my perspective as a Canadian.  As we explore the stories we will see that gender binaries are not just a Canadian, North American or white narrative. The prejudice + power = an ism, in this case sexism, equation is played out in any society when one group is dominant over another (Finally Feminism 101).  The normal narrative of gender is that male and female have specific roles to play in the home, at work and in society in general.  Males are usually seen as the ones who go out to work, and do the labourious jobs around the home.  Women in this narrative are seen as homemakers, do the indoor work, cooking, cleaning and look after the children.  We see in these two stories, as well as my own. that our parents or friends who are older than us, that these binaries are ingrained into their thinking. “I will never wear a skirt! As a male and head of this family, I don’t want to see you washing the dishes or doing household chores.” My own account of being relegated to the kitchen to cook during the garage build because I was a girl.  Meyan’s account of his pastor returning to Sudan and being shooed out of the kitchen not only by men but also by the women when the pastor tried cook himself a meal, lend proof that these gender roles are still alive, well and part of the thinking of older generations.   The gender binaries do not only play out in societal and familial jobs but also in emotional ways as well. “[O]ur group of friends we would tease each other when we say each other get scared or cry” (Piok) speaks to the narrative of being manly.  In my story I speak of the fact that my dad’s first born was a girl and how he was very disappointed in that.  That narrative of a first born should be a boy was a very old notion that has carried on in some families

In these stories of normal narratives, we see instances of ideological incongruencies (Solomon, Portelli, Daniel and Campbell, July 2005).   We believe that when women step outside of the normal role that she is no longer fitting into the stereotypical role of house wife, mother and caregiver.  The reality is that most women, even though they have outside jobs, take care of the majority of the housework and are usually the ones that take the time off from their jobs when kids are sick.  Raphael states in his story that even though his mother went out to work to keep the family financially she was also responsible for training the children to help her with household duties as well. Western society has made great strides in trying to do away with the traditional gender roles but it still has a long way to go.  Other countries, such as, Sudan have even further to go in combating sexism and the gender binaries evidenced in Meyan’s final statement “ … [in]divorce the women would be sent away and the kids would stay with the father. Everything in the household is considered as belonging to the man.”

Part 2 Disrupting the narrative

“Our identities, our thoughts, and our beliefs can’t always be sorted easily into two categories. In the world we live in, we set up two distinct categories — man and woman — that everyone must choose between. But that doesn’t actually reflect the full diversity of the human experience.” ( What does it mean to be non-binary?) This statement reflects the nature of Maizie’s story Being Me. I chose Maizie’s story on gender to disrupt the normal narrative of gender roles because I found the story to be so opposite of what I play out as woman. I consider myself a tomboy and love a good game of football. Like Maizie I was always the one out playing with the boys when it came to sports.  I unlike Maizie drew the line at the getting your hands dirty type of things like hunting and fishing.  I have known a couple of other women who hunt but none speak about it with the pride that comes across from Maizie.  I found that there was a level of comfort in the way the Maizie told the story.  It resonated with me that she didn’t feel the need to be something she wasn’t but was comfortable with her choices to pursue “traditional male pass times” in a woman’s body.  While I enjoyed playing rough sports with the boys when I was younger, and could hammer a nail with the best of them, my motivation wasn’t to be me but to prove that I as girl could be as good as any boy and be worthy of my dad’s love.

I notice when we try to disrupt the normal narrative of gender, society is more willing to accept women stepping in the male dominated realms rather than when a man tries to step in the feminine side. This is a theme that is evident through all four of the gender stories referenced for this piece.  I don’t mean that it is easy for women to break into for example professional male dominated sport or male dominated jobs but that when a women challenges something that is traditionally male oriented, society is not as resistant to this unlike when a male chooses more traditional feminine leanings.  Women are often given the tools and are often encouraged to partake in things like hunting or fishing for example.  Maizie’s parents encouraged her love of hunting at a young age by giving her, her own gun.  However, when males tend disrupt the male gender role and take on more typically feminine roles they are looked down on.  Men who are interested in the more traditional female pastimes such as sewing, knitting, or quilting for example are subject to much more negative scrutiny than a woman who is taking up hunting and fishing.  Men are more likely to be labeled as queer or gay when their interests are not masculine in nature.  Parents of little boys are less likely to supply knitting needles or a sewing machine for their son.  Men, who choose to stay at home with their children are considered less ambitious, less manly for their choice

Gender binaries exist in every culture.  In Sudan, we have seen that these binaries are as opposite as you can get.  In western societies there is a bit more of a graying of the binaries.  Women work, have almost equal rights in divorces, are accepted into the male dominated jobs, and can pursue traditional male activities without too much difficulty in the western world. Men though have a bit of tougher time bending these binaries but it still is done and accepted eventually.

Resource

Class stories

https://pamx6.wordpress.com/2016/11/01/being-a-girl-being-a-woman/

https://meyanpiok.wordpress.com/2016/11/06/gender/

https://jasperalph.wordpress.com/2016/11/04/writing-the-self-4-it-doesnt-mean-youre-wearing-a-skirt/

https://maziehooper.wordpress.com/2016/11/02/being-me/

Class readings

https://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/10/19/sexism-definition/

Solomon, Portelli, Daniel & Campbell. (2006). The discourse of denial: how white teacher candidates construct race, racism and ‘white privilege’. Race, Ethnicity and Education, 8(2), 147-169.

What does it mean to be non-binary?

 

Being a girl, Being a woman

Writing the Self #4 gender

Being a girl meant that your dad didn’t come to see you for two or three days after you were born because you weren’t the preferred boy or at least that is how my story of being a girl starts.  I was the first born to my dad and the first grandchild.  I should have been a boy there was no other option.

Being a girl means that at five, ten, eleven, twelve, sixteen years old you are a plaything for teenage boys when you don’t know what is happening is wrong.  You are subject to grown men who think they can touch you and say things to you because you are girl.  The women in your life don’t protect you after all the men mean no harm.

Being a girl at thirteen means that you are regulated to kitchen duty during the garage building because you are a girl and you belong in the kitchen not out hammering nails.  It means that your brothers who did half the work you did get new bikes right after the build because they did a man’s work for a few hours over the weekend while you worked in the kitchen prepping meals, drinks and snacks the entire weekend and you don’t get anything because you didn’t work.

Being a girl at nineteen means you go out to the bar and some guy buys you drinks all night even though you have told him that you are not interested in him.  He doesn’t have to listen to you when you say you are involved with someone because after all you are at the bar with your girlfriends not your boyfriend so you are fair game.  He gets mad when you refuse to leave with him, because you are a “tramp” to put it mildly and led him on.

Being a woman in your twenties means that you get to realize one of your life long dreams and become a mom, three times by time you are 25.  Being a woman in your twenties means that you are subject to people telling you had the perfect family at one boy and one girl, that you don’t need a third child. You are irresponsible to have more than society’s perfect two child family and asked if you know what causes it etc.  When you choose to stay home to raise those children you wanted so badly you are lazy, taking advantage of your husband and generally are worthless.

Being a woman in your thirties means that you start to come into your own, you start to realize that it doesn’t matter what people think.  It means when you decide to homeschool your children “they” think you have lost your mind.  How could you possibly teach anyone, you don’t know anything, you are just a stay at home mom.  Your family planning methods come up for conversation because in your late 30’s you decide to have not one but three more children and homeschool them.  It means that when asked if you know what causes that(babies) you don’t give a hoot, and come back with something smart.

Being a woman in your forties means that you realize that you are strong.  You have gotten past all this stuff that has been thrown at you, your whole life.  It means that you have succeeded in protecting your daughters from those men, you have taught your son how to treat a woman and are teaching your young sons that women are valuable.  It means that you were strong, have done what is best for your family despite the obstacles and demeaning marks.  It means that you are confident, strong, and smart enough to pursue your other life long dream.  A dream that is not valued by some people because its not a high paying profession, because it is traditionally a woman’s profession.  A dream to be a teacher.  A dream with every midterm, every essay, every class and every assignment, becomes closer because you are doing everything you can to make it happen.  Being a woman is good.